Hello and Welcome to PC.... My name is Altheia I am a Domestic Violence Advocate... Let me first say you did nothing wrong... Being abused by a spouse is hard... They almost never change, you can do everything right and they will still find something wrong. These abusers love inflecting pain. They actually find great pleasure in it. Some of these men that is the only way they can feel secure about their insecure selves. I have talked to countless women about this issue... It hurts now but at least you will not be hurting forever... It will take awhile for you to begin to love yourself again. It will happen.... If you ever need a sounding board let me know, you can PM me... Altheia