Laying Low, being cordial, respectful--- I have done since first meeting his parents and sister due to my Significant other told me- Watch what I say just in general and about religion due to my views- I have- I have been quiet, even with things that they say that I disagree with-- I have just been like it is what they believe not me, and to which that is fine- I and my S/O even sit there quietly while they pray- due to he does not agree with their views either....

Hell even last Thanksgiving his mom wanted to make a big deal about us getting a turkey for our home and I just sat there quietly and eventually said- Well I just don't know why we got a turkey we just wanted one. They were cheap and we need meat at home.

The problem here- and I know many that read this think I am projecting but the simple fact of it is-
1) My boyfriend stopped drinking every night after we got together- His parents just accepted his addiction and did not say or do anything about it- He cleaned up from his meth and other drug uses on his own- not help from his family. The Good thing is with them is that they accepted him back after he cleaned up- that is a plus on their part.

2) That the inability of him being honest with his parents due to upsetting them in some sort of way- say the less that is something that has been going on since he was a child and it should be addressed.

I have a 32 year old man that is still a boy in a lot of ways- Some of these issues are from his parents; I never am saying he should just drop his parents but this "protecting them" is killing him- I see it every year as we live together.

To address the fact that perhaps he is just trying to tame me down by telling me of "they are just ignorant" and "it hurt me too" is being an enabler of just "telling me what i want to hear" which if that is the case our relationship will deteriorate over time due to dishonesty. The Truth may hurt at first but at least I am a person with over time I can digest it, (*To which I don't think is the case here, I saw how upset he was when we were alone due to they just did not listen to his request--).

Ya know I have been thinking on quote the quote: "Nobody can hurt me without my permission"
The permission is that we invest something into another/care about them. And when they hurt us either due to lack of care, consideration, insight, perception, or by willing consciously or subconsciously, or just don't get it--- we are hurt- why, due to we have tried to be those things for them, and they have not for us.... We have allowed to take that permission of trying to care of another and it has turned on us in away.

That is what happened here with his parents- I have tried best not to offend them with keeping my opinions to myself- Us taking in his sister's dog and doing what needed to be done since no one wanted to take care of the problem and even that is being turned against on me by his mom and sister with their "forgetfullness"...

As I have told him a while back we both need therapy for our issues- the thing is with therapy in the end it is oneself doing the problem solving and the work- The therapist there for advice, ways, and other insights that one may miss.... Since I can't afford therapy right nor can he- and we are both smart- the best thing to do is talk- which is something that he encourages me to do-

And May I add that it probably helps that he himself has about 4 years of Psychology on him too even if he does not remember all of what he studied.

sorry if this is a ramble all over the place just my thoughts right now on this.