Hi Rob,

Thanks so much for your kind words. I do tell him everything. He knows I check and he knows I go through his phone. He doesnt ever react, he just tells me I should have just asked him first. He gave me permission to look through his house if I wanted and the funny thing is, once he said that it didnt seem as important anymore. You are exactly right, he must love me very much, which I do him. When I am in a rational frame of mind I know this and I sometimes cry because I realise this to be the case. But when my insecurities/anxieties/obsessions take over all I can seem to think is that hes out to hurt me, that there can be no way he loves me as much as he says he does and that why the hell would he want to stay with me when i am such a nightmare (to put it mildly). My defense is to run away and leave him because this stops my hurting. Wrong I know because if I just let myself love him and let him love me then things would feel more secure anyway.

Thanks again, and to be fair, I wouldnt say you were stupid or dumb!