I'm rapidly realizing that many of the posts I've made over the past few months about my affair, collapsing marriage, and immanent divorce have not kept up with or given an accurate picture of the current reality of the situation. My wife and I decided not to divorce or get a dissolution, but rather to get a legal separation to give us time to heal away from each other without completely throwing out the marriage. Our goal as of now is for each of us, especially me since I'm the one with all the psych issues, to make enough progress individually that we can come together for couple's marriage counseling and restore our marriage and rebuild our family. For now we are each working on our own issues in therapy while going through various workbooks and reference books on healing damaged marriages.

This was very much brought to light by a thread I started last night about a lunch date at my place we have planned for today. This is intended to be a special time of getting back together, of turning away from a relationship I never should have been in and returning to the one I vowed my life to, but one particular response I got showed me that I had written it very poorly. For the record, my friends on facebook that know me from real life instead of just my posts here are saying things like:

"AMEN!"
"So glad to hear you guys!!! "
"Will continue praying. God can work miracles and.make beauty.from ashes. "
and
"How exciting! Enjoy your day!"

Nobody's saying it will be all sunlight and roses. We'll both have memories to work past, but I think this can be really good for us and help set us firmly on the path to reconciliation whether the lunch date moves into the bedroom or not.

I apologize for any wrong impressions I have given. As a former professional writer, I should have been more careful of my writing. Please take my word for it that even if my wording is clumsy, we really are working to rekindle our love for each other that has kept us at least from separating completely for the 20 years we've been together. It was down to a barely glowing spark, but I think it's starting to burn again. Good wishes gratefully accepted.

Thanks,
Bowhunt