Have you ever been surprised by your own answer to a question your T has asked? Please share if you are comfortable.

This tends to happen to me a lot. This week T and I were talking about sex (sex between my H and I) and a struggle we (H and I) had the night before.

T said, "It must be hard to have so many struggles regarding sex with your husband." I looked at him a bit quizzically and said, "Yeah, but don't lots of couples have times when they struggle with their sexual relationship?"

T then asked, "Why did you just say that? That lots of couples struggle with this."

Now, I thought the answer to that question was the obvious: That asking/explaining that lots of couples struggle with sex from time to time normalizes the struggle for my H and I. But that's not what was actually behind the reason.

So I answered, "Because I felt like your comment was a judgment -- a criticism of my part in our sex life."

So of course he said the ubiquitous, "Do you see how that ties into your pattern?" Yes, I did. Makes sense NOW. At the time I was quite surprised by my true motivation.