Not only can I not, but I do not want to pay for love; for me, that's prostitution, pure and simple, does not matter who the person is or their relationship to me.

With one's therapist, I have a professional business relationship. The people I buy from who do not treat me with kindness and respect means they are not professional. Some I do not expect it from (McDonald's :-) and with others, hopefully I change business partners (doctors, lawyers, accountants, stores with nasty sales clerks, etc.).

For me, kindness and respect were hard to understand until I began to treat myself kindly and respect myself. My T taught me the difference between liking and loving someone (basically when you like someone you want to hang around with them :-) by asking me who I liked and why, giving 3 reasons. I chose my husband because he's "warm, fun, and friendly". She then had me apply those adjectives to my stepmother, whom I loved, and. . . not so much

I think it is okay to love someone and not like them but I want to know the difference, to know who I like and want to be around and be around those people more often. I work on liking myself most of all.