Hello, Un_important! I've been thinking about your above post and your other, "I need to die." I don't actively think that I need to die, and I've made not succumbing to despair a personal goal, BUT every once in a while (sometimes daily) I spontaneously scream (yes, real screams), "Kill me!" or "Please let me die!"

It's pretty clear to me that I am at war with deep urges, urges based on a condemnation of my own existence.

I can't tell just how similar my feelings are to yours, Un_important, but they are not totally dissimilar.

It's a dilemma: I wish you life, and I want your pain to stop.