I appreciate all that you both are doing to restore your family and your commitment to each other. Unfortunately, to me at least, vows and commitment are pretty meaningless if there is not true love. I would not want a man to stay with me just because he promised at some point in the past to do so...if he does not truly love me, and only me, then he can go. Godspeed and all that. I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than to live with someone and have to work at being in love...All the other stuff take work of course, but to me love just is (or is not). If you do feel as if you and your wife can actually restore the love, then by all means work on the commitment part...but I think the love must come first and if it's not there, then the temptation to stray on your part and the temptation to not treat you well on her part will eventually rise up again. This is not a blame thing....and it's only my opinion. But, if you are not trying to work things out because deep down you still love each other, then I think you are just in for more hurt.