First, I hope you have a great vacation and can put aside your therapy situation for awhile. You deserve a break!!!

I'm sorry that you and your T are at this point. It sounds so painful though it seems like a mutual decision that you terminate your therapy, or start the termination process.

I know how hard you've worked in your therapy. I hope you're not thinking of the current situation as a failure, for you've grown in so many ways and have ALWAYS been an inspiration to so many of us here!! Even in your thread now, though you say the session was so painful and you don't think it can ever be the same with your T, the love he feels for you is readily apparent. If you do end therapy with him, I'm sure it will be done with compassion and caring by both of you.