You got me thinking Rose, uh oh, I write a lot when that happens because I am struggling myself too.

I just try to also keep in mind when I think of myself and you and others. I suffered a lot of loss. And I know you did too Rose. When that happens and we end up struggling with PTSD, one the big symptoms is APATHY. We are afraid to love or get attached again because when we did we got very hurt. I know that is what happened to me and from listening to you, I know that happened to you as well.

Along with everything else that I discussed above, as I face those issues as well, I can say that I tend to hold back on getting attached because I was hurt. I think that to repair this we have to take baby steps by giving ourselves permission to reward ourselves in small ways. Allow ourselves to enjoy some small things and build up our sense of slowly being able to reach out even more.

The fact that you are thinking about maybe meeting a nice guy or thinking about making some friends, that is a good sign that you are becoming more open. I know that the PTSD still inhibits that because we still have to figure out how to rebuild or maybe even build for the first time, a new way of controling the emotions that can arise from this fear of being hurt. And Yes, it can be a lot of work. But you have to keep striving for that to eventually come or build in you again.

(((Hugs)))
Open Eyes