Quote:
Originally Posted by ECHOES
 I hope you can find a way to take the chance. I know that for me, looking into my T's eyes is a wonderful feeling. I couldn't always. I think it happened slowly, when I would feel really connected, usually by something she said that made me feel heard and understood, and I would just be drawn to look at her then, and to affirm/confirm that I heard what she was saying. I think there is something in the not looking that is about the fear of looking inward, more than anything. Feeling heard and understood can displace some of that fear. |
I had a similar experience to Echoes - eye contact was very hard at first. At one point, though, my previous T said something so heartfelt that I met his eyes. It was wonderful - I've never felt so understood. That started us down a path of a lot of eye contact.
It's harder with my current T. He tends to look down when he's composing his next thought and then he looks up. I try to meet his eyes as much as I can, but we're working on some really difficult, shame-related things and I'm finding it hard not to stare at the floor, or my coffee cup, or his desk, or anywhere but his eyes.