Urg, that wasn't really the answer I wanted to hear!

Ickydog, you made me really think and it is good to hear from someone who has been through it and can relate. The part of self harming that I hate the most is the lying. I alway knew that I could never fully be myself with people having to cover up such an intrinsic part of my life - and that made me feel so lonely even when I had friends! One of the things I do want to do when meeting up with old and potentially new friends is be more honest, because I'm pretty fed up of putting on a show just to feel I can be accepted.

But this also worries me greatly, and I've realised that perhaps to an extent I still wish to be able to hide myself behind the SH. Although in many ways I really, really want to connect with other people, it also scares me so much (not sure why yet!) and I do use self harm as a form of protection. I haven't quite worked out how it protects me but I'm assuming it is linked to keeping a part of me hidden and therefore out of reach (or something!). Which makes me think...I wonder if I can find a way to keep a part of me safe and hidden away in a healthy way?

And btw the ice idea works I agree, it is a great technique...just a shame it doesn't last that long!