Why did you decide to adopt?

God gave us lots of love and a desire for children. There are hundreds of thousands of children in this world who need homes. Adopting seemed like a good way to have a family.

Did you specifically intend to adopt an infant or a younger child?
We didnt set out for anything. Opportunities came and we just acted as we were led. First child was nearly a year old when she joined our family. She was adopted from Central America after we saw the need for families for orphans there. The local families were not able/willing to adopt many of the children. We didnt just adopt a child and want to ignore the plight of children and families down there. My husband ended up founding a nonprofit that is now very actively engaged in helping provide free medical care, food, and educational opportunities for kids down there. He visits the region regularly and we have a number of sponsors that take teams down all thrughout the year. The next trip is in two weeks. That daughter is now six years old. She absolutely knows she was born inn Central America and helps with the projects down there; the last project she helped with was making Christmas stocking for kids at the orphanage and collecting eye glasses for one of our medical clinics. (She has beautiful cinnamon skin and I have to giggle when people ask if she knows she is adopted. She tells people we are a "snicker doodle family" because our skin colors don't "match" but all together, we make a good blend.) She has a Life Book we created for her that has a story of how she joined our family and we actively encourage her to talk about her thoughts on being adopted when she wants to. She will say things like "I love my first mother"- and we hug her and tell her we do too. She loves her birth culture and we're thrilled she gets such an upfront look at it.

Second child was over a year old when she joined our family. She was going into permanent foster care several states away due to gross neglect. We got a call asking if we would adopt her. She is of a mixed race black/white and a number of families were not willing to adopt her as a result. We enthusiastically said sure. Before coming home, I was with her in a children's hospital for four days, but she has been in wonderful health since. She is beautiful, smart, and incredibly affectionate. I never expected to have another daughter, so when we got that call asking if we wanted to become parents again, I was thrilled. She cannot have contact with her birth mother because she is unsafe to be around, but she does have ongoing open contact with her grandparents and cousins. They live six states away, but we travel to see them at least once a year. It's important to us she have a connection with her birth family. And honestly, many adopting families feel the same way. The adoption community has learned a lot over the years about the importance of giving children those connections. a big percentage of both foster and private adoptions now involve some level of communication (direct or third party) than in decades past. I think it is a good thing.

Did you go through a reputable service or lawyer that "screens" the background of the bio family?
We hired an attorney to make sure the correct legal procedures were followed so that their placements would not be jeopardized. Every family that adopts should hire an attorney to make sure the proper legal channels are followed. There are significant oversights in place to ensure the children are eligible for adoption and extensive checks on families who are wanting to adopt.

Did you go out of the country for a child instead of looking in your own backyard?
That comes across as a hostile question. But yes and no. Children everywhere need homes. We have one daughter that was born in Central America. We have one daughter that was born "in our backyard." Every child that needs a forever family is worth advocating for, no matter where they were born.

Did you go with an open or closed adoption?
Both our children have connections to their birth families. One, with the orphanage in C.A. and the other with grandparents and cousins.

Do you have paperwork for your adoptive children regarding their birth parents that explains why their bio parents' gave them up for adoption along with a "vague" background?
You really are asking hostile questions here, but yes. We have documentation of the circumstances both children were in that led to them being placed for adoption. Life gives people crummy circumstances sometimes. We can't undo that. We don't and won't hide that. Our life stories are what make us who we are. Neither childs' background is vague. We are very straight forward with what their story is. We did not change either childs' name or try to change their identity. We have no intention of making their stories "pretty." We do our best to answer their questions with honesty and let them know it is okay to be sad (or happy or angry or whatever emotion they are feeling on any given day) about their past. And then we look for appropriate ways to express those emotions.

Do your children know they are adopted?
My husband and I are paste-y white. One daughter has cinnamon colored skin and the other has mocha colored skin. There is no way in the world anyone could think otherwise. But yes. My kids know they joined our family through adoption.