So talking about my issues on PC has not really made things better.... talking to my boyfriend/s/o here and there has- we still are not to the talk in our safe bedroom and talk talk time yet- that will probably be in the morning.

I know that may sound odd- bed is a safe place for me to talk more opening for some reason with him. I can still talk to him on the phone when I am in need of it -- but the real issues and deeper issues, bed is safe place. It is good for me- the last therapist said to continue talking to him so I do- He is a good listener and a perception is something he was blessed well with... so it is not the talking issue I am having right now..

The problem I am having today is that this week i have been up and down, with clarity and then despair- so fast as well..Today is like -- i can't sleep- I have been up way to long and I need to work tonight...

I was just wondering if anyone had some ideas with the problem with tense and not sleeping due to triggers that are going on.. I know it is self soothing...

I have already taken a shower- some times that helps, I tried some of my tea; that has not helped, I just got off the phone with my boyfriend and yet I felt great while talking with him-- he made me feel so much better, but then I sit and I am like-- awake, I read things that I have recently posted or my mind keeps wondering and I can't get it to stop.

I don't want to take a sleeping pill due to they make me feel like crap when I get up- and plus I wont get 8 hours, and I said the last time was the last time with those darn things.

I will try to go lay again here in a minute or so--- I have not been drinking caffiene either -- I am literally stressed out- and it is due to old memories, thoughts getting from I will be ok- to I will never be ok- along with other things-- even my muscles are tight-- it is like a part of me does not want to go to sleep either even though i feel so drained.

here are the other recent posts if wondering: I keep wondering if I should had posted these first Two of what happened over the weekend and the honesty thread here in PTSD due to I know that is part of my issues with this stuff--- and instead I posted them else where; where i think people don't understand PTSD so things perhaps I am taking wrong with how they are said and I am getting hurt by it.

Mad face due to I am angry with this- I am trying to figure out my key points of why-- i am getting there; it is just going to take time. idk if it would be trigging -- It is something that triggered me due to what actions were taken -- perhaps only to me it was triggering to (it is what it seems like for the most part)
http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=230144

Relationship and Communication- Trig due to someone upset me and I end up giving a part of my life story- but helpful from the first poster with getting some perception which I think the world could use a little more of
http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=230300

This one is in coping with emotions- Trig for Sui talk but a little solution and helpful suggestion in it as well from another member
http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=230465

thanks in advance all...

sorry this is long