Hey Ya'll

So I have been having a problem with taking too much medicine-sometimes it's nyquil or sleeping pills or before it was taken away from me- Klonopin I would take a bunch of those-to sleep-to be out of it. A few weeks ago I took too much sleepaid (the kind that is an antihistamine) and I had an adverse reaction to it-it scared me and I called my PDOC. He was very concerned-wanted me to go to the ER and get checked out-and was very stern with me-saying it's not a game-and he thought it was an attempt (it honeslty wasn't). I was also in communication with T that day and cried about how Pdoc was talking to me and saying that he wouldn't work with me when I'm doing stuff like this.
So last night I took too much nyquil and I had a few body spasms again-so I decided this morning that I have a problem with this-I keep doing this even though it's stupid and can harm me. So I emailed T to tell him I had a problem and I didn't know what to do. He hadn't answered by afternoon so I called and I asked him about it. He started talking about my subconscious desire to sabotage my relationship with PDOC by doing this and then telling him about it-because I know that he will tell me he won't see me anymore....and that it's my decision to tell him or to let it lie...and just have me and T look at what is going on with this...but I feel weird not telling PDOC...ugg I don't knwo what to do. I do know that I need help but...there are no groups for people who just take too much over the counter stuff...
I then called T back to ask if he was annoyed with me...and he was in a 'punchy' mood as he described it later-he said if I kept calling him 10 times he would be...he said he was concerned-he doesn't like it...but that he was not annoyed-then he asked if that was my goal...and I was like "noooo"...and that made me upset-I truly was trying to tell him that I need help with this...so I sent another email and he reassured me that it's okay and that he will see me Tuesday.....okay I'm rambling now...but i've been bothered by this all day.
I feel like i'm mad at T for some reason...