(it's a bit long, but I tried my best to make is easy to read. It may be easier to read the summary first and extend to the other details )
Quote:
(summary)
I feel very lonely, and this feeling is eating me painfully.
Depression ←→ loneliness, how they link, relate, cause each other, vice versa,.... etc etc...., that's another subject, for NOW, i want to focus on how to DEAL with loneliness.
|
A little on my background:
*
I have depression, is taking
meds (free). No money to see counselling coz I have been out of jobs.
*I am very
lack of motivation and energy. (even I don’t want to be lack of motivation and energy. I even mad at myself for not able to keep myself clean. I just don’t go out when I have not clean myself).
*I can get depress by small things.
Little things can affect me and then will go down into deep depression and can take a long time to be okay again. I am trying to feeling okay usually. Feeling okay is already good for me. (I don't want to let things affect me and get depress, what can I do ? )
*I tried not get to more depress than that. If 5 is fine and 1 is very depress, I think I am
2.5 (or 2) and is trying hard to keep myself at 2.5 and not get any lower.
*I mostly stay at home. I volunteer every Thursday.
*I live with my family, but I don't have a good relationshipwith them. I tried not to communicate with them so much, coz it often cause me feel depress. Coz they don't really listen to me when I am talking. They will change topic, not listen or talk while I am talking. But when they talk me to, they force me to talk to them. I am the black sheep in the family.
*I don't go to
church. I did that, didn't work out (not the matter of faith but problem socialing people in the church)
*And have
no friends. I have a long time friend but she is oversea, but she is very busy and rarely have time to email me. / There was a casual friend I used to hang out with her once a while, I gotta say it makes me feel better to have some casual interact and chit chat. But she moved to another cities. (lack opportunity and weak economy in my city =.= )
*Like I say do volunteer every Thursday. But I have
hard time interacting with people there. I dunno what to say. I still go, so I don’t get totally disconnected to the world, and it won’t look more worse on my resume.
*There’s not much hobby or interest group in my city. I tried, but … e.g. I am not interested in sports. Scrapbooking, it’s expensive, I don’t have to money to do that.
Quote:
(summary)
Please give me some suggestion:
*How can I live peacefully with loneliness, and not have it eating me and biting me painfully every second ? (it's effecting my motivation badly)
*How can I learn to be alone and still feeling okay?
*What can I do to ease the loneliness? (sth to do by myself, something I have better control of instead of depending on others) And it’s not like I can suddenly have friends to hang out with. (I don't think it's a good idea to have expectation on people. And isn't it what many said too. )
*I tried reading, it works a for a while, but now it's failing….
*lonely ←→ depress ←→ lack of motivation & energy，what can I do ?
|
I am really writing what exactly is it the situation I am in. I did tried many methods, that I can think of, before and now.
Thank you for reading.