Thanks for the reality check Fayerody.

Thanks for expressing how I EXACTLY feel Lexicon78 and Therealme.

Thank you for relating Walkwithspiritbear and the offer of friendship (which I try to never pass up).

I do think that getting past "nothingness" is not the problem...it's having a vision of what life is like after getting past the feelings of "nothingness"

I have no vision what comes after the feelings and ideals of "nothingness".

I don't know where I'm going, or where I will end up and I have no tangible plan or even clue what will happen to me a day from now . No bull.

I don't know... for a long time I have been isolated from a lot of aspects of society, and not because I wanted to (very bad home life...that sums it up).

I feel that because of this gap between what I experinced in life, and what so many others have experinced, I cannot make anyone understand what it means to be depressed to me (besides going to therapist 4 times a month).

I feel that if I utter the word "depressed" to anybody besides my therapist, it's automatically translated in one of the two ways Lexicon78 and Therealme said.

Basically...I feel that since I cannot (don't know why) express what I'm feeling to others in a different way besides saying, "I'm very severely depressed" I get grouped in with what people call "the misfits crowd".

I don't want to be grouped.

I don't want to be labeled.

I don't want my emotional expressions to determine how I'm precieved.

Maybe I'm just worrying about the grass on the other side of the fence too much.

I don't know. I'm not even sure what I'm trying to point out.