Here.

My son has been struggling. He's obsessed with his hand. Obsessions with imaginary physical problems is a reliable sign that he's going into another episode. I'd like so see if he can pull out of the nosedive this time. I think he's fighting as hard as he knows how. This is where the rubber meets the road, I think, and where the learning begins. My biggest fear is that I'll die and he'll still need external supervision.

Last night he came to my bedroom door say that he's not "doing well" and he can't control the obsessive thoughts and he thinks he needs to go to the hospital. I told him I thought the hospital wasn't necessary yet and suggested he take another Zyprexa. (He does have some for use PRN.) I think he did that. He's sleeping still, so I don't know if it helped.

I just want him to be able to 1) recognize when he's not doing well (rather than having to rely on others to tell him), and 2) know what tools he has available to him to make things better. I think how he handled it last night was great. He felt things were moving outside of his control, and he talked to me about what solutions he should apply.