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i am sorry Katieranger,
Until you can find a therapist or someone you really trust to talk to....try holding ice cubes in your hands...the aching cold sometimes can really help. Or it ice cubes are not available try using really tight rubber bands on your arms or hands or wherever and snapping the band really hard. It will sting and hurt enough but usually will not leave a permanent scar. There may be other things to do but these two have worked best for me in terms of trying no to SI. Personally shredding paper helps too...but i hate to clean up the mess after. Hope something helps. Bless you and do not give up. You have made it this far...you can in fact survive these SI feelings and strong desires.
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