4 I had a similar experience, when SA memories started crashing in during therapy, after I became sober. You feel like you're drowning and can't breathe. And yes, the urge to SI is powerfully strong because the emotions are so overwhelming. Everyone here had such good advice - I won't bore you and repeat it. Being around people is the most important so you can't SI. Remember that you may feel this way NOW, in this instance, but you won't always feel this way - it will pass, it will get better, you will get through it. I know that sounds simplistic, but it's true. It was a long, difficult healing journey for me, but I've come out on the other side - it is possible.

Take care of yourself - you're in my thoughts and prayers