Hi shootingstaz, I can relate greatly with your problems. Ive been right where you are now.
I have bipolar and was dignossed at age 24. In 1998 I had a bad car accident where the car crashed of the road on a lake upside down and my fiency died on my lap. The car rolled over his head. I held him in my arms for 45 min. untill they got me out. By the way , the lake was frozen. I was dignossed with PTSD two years latter and had quit a hard time coping. Long story short, I made it through with 2 years of intence therapy and you can too. Life is what you make it and you have to take the bull by the horns get help. You will make it.
AS far as everyone dying on you, it just feels that way hon and you need to take it day by day and look for the brighter side of things. I know that is hard to do but I'm living proff that it can be done with lots of hard work.
Good luck, cocoa :-))