welcome to PC. I have to admit, I haven't read the rest of the thread yet...as I am too depressed to read and comprehend all that now.

But since you did post this under depression... I wanted to share that sometimes there are no words to say. Sometimes you need to be able to just sit with your T and allow them to console you... just by being there to listen incase you think of something you want to say. Depression does that sometimes, imo.

(I don't know if you are a believer, but you might recall the story of Job...and how his friends would come and just sit WITH him and they went days without saying anything.)

TC.