Iam special - I don't know you and I will only ever get to know you on here. Because I don't know you personally does not mean that I do not care - I care very much about you right now - I know how it is to feel the things you write of and I know how it is to be stuck / trapped behind all those things and to feel alone.

I have learned that my mind can play tricks with me, it can make me believe things, that later I look back on and see very differently. And I know that medication can sometimes also feed into that and make things very confusing for me. When I am in that place it is so hard to get out, my brain changes somehow.

I have found comfort and peace in Pema Chodron's book "When Things Fall Apart" - it hasn't changed my life, but there have been bits in that book that have helped me think about things differently.

I don't believe people on here are not genuine - I know I believe every word I write - we all share something special on here and that is what makes this a good place to be.

I also know for me sometimes i can get a little mixed up on here and have taken breaks from time to time.

iamspecial is thinking....when all else fails....sit back...look at it....then re-think and start again I think that is really good advice.

You do matter - Soup