Too late. It already has "derailed" me. That's my problem. I'm so pathetic that I can feel so deeply about someone who wants to just ride me for pleasure's sake. I know he feels something deeper, but we've had our first fight and I've realized that this isn't going to work out. So, I'm just quitting. I'm done with relationships. I'm done with being gay. I'm done with being transgendered. I'm done. I'm just a shell of a person, nothing more.