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brackenbeard · May 27, 2012, 03:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet

Thanks for responding everyone, to be honest I wrote this at 1am last night and i was so depressed, i was almost drunk.

Some good insight nonetheless. i'm still depressed, but not as much as I was in the early hours of this morning.

brackenbeard, you're right about getting up at a decent hour and being well dressed, etc. Those would probably help me quite a lot.

I'm depressed for so many reasons. One is not knowing what to do with myself. Another is having no friends. I think I'm lonely. And also because i'm not really changing from a child into a grown up, even at the age of 33. I live with my parents, and now I have no car (long story), and so forth. I feel like everyone my age, or even younger than me, is a lot more mature than I am. I would never be able to hold down a job where I have to communicate with people. Everyone seems so smooth at dealing with other people, and again this is where their maturity comes in, compared to my immaturity and shyness.

This and more. I could go on.

I think you can't help but compare yourself to others at times. Just don't take it too seriously. I've been in the same shoes as you, still am, trying to figure how to grow up and be a man. It's tough but for me it started with getting sober. Now I'm searching for new ways to fill my time. Just do the things that make you feel warm and good about yourself. I bet you just need to start filling your time with stuff you enjoy. Try to grow musically, artistically, or however you want. Devote your time to things, and cultivate your understanding of them, or your ability to do them. I think growth comes with doing the boring things sometimes. my AA sponsor would say, don't do want you want to do, do the things you don't want to. do you have your finances in order, and your medical business in order, that's a place to start.