You should call your T. It's probably not that they feel you're not important. They just want to see that you are willing to fight to make it too. Ultimately, you're the one who has to fight to live, they can just help you through the process. They are a tool, use them. Hotlines are also tools. I know you don't really want to live, but if you want to 'want to live', you need to use what's available. Meds can be tools too, especially to help through particularly rough patches. I know what you mean about not finding somewhere safe. Places use to become enemies, one of my classes had a metal coat hanger in the back and that's all I could focus on. Sometimes you have to be willing to ask for help, even if it's scary, most teachers will do almost anything in their power to help you make it. If they have scissors or staplers on their desk, ask them to move it out of sight, if they ask tell them it's a trigger and you don't want to talk about it (or if you don't mind telling them why you can open up to them). Red lettering use to be really triggering, so I would ask some of them to not use red pen, It may take a few tries/reminders but most will automatically put the things away when you come in. I don't know if you ever try to use your nails or pens for si, but I did, so before really stressful tests I would talk to the teacher and ask them to keep an eye on me. That would help me not hurt myself during the tests and afterwards the cravings would lessen to a bearable state. If you are going to si, I know you will find a way, but that doesn't mean you should make it easy for yourself.