I have been seeing my T for over 2 years - he reminded me recently that it took about 6 months to talk to him at all and even now it is mostly difficult with a few break through moments now and again.

Please don't given yourself a hard time for this - from what you have shared it sounds like you are being immensely brave just turning up to the sessions.

I am not sure how helpful I would find it to hear:

"Do you realize how emotionally shut down you are? You show absolutely no emotion. You are the first patient I have ever had that was this shut down to everyone. Talk to me..."

Sounds a bit harsh to me. "Talk to me" if my T said that I would think well yes that is why I am here, but how do I do that exactly. A relationship of trust takes time to build.

Be kind and gentle with yourself - therapy is not an easy thing, in fact I think it is one of the hardest things I have ever put myself through. It takes time, but I have faith that it will be worth it. Also bear in mind that research suggests the most important factor in therapy, is the fit between T and client. Although I find it hard to be open with my T (and am very disconnected), I do have a sense that he understands me, otherwise I think it would be worth exploring whether it would feel more comfortable with another T.


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