wow. I'm so sorry. but I have missed a few funerals in the past few years. if you are not well enough to go, then you simply don't go - that's what I tell myself. I respected my relatives well enough while they were alive. now, there are two ways of looking at it - they are dead, and either 1) they don't know i'm not attending, so it doesn't matter or 2) they CAN see why i'm not attending so they understand (better now than when they were alive!). What other people think about me doesn't bother me. Except that a few have made their negative feelings towards me clear enough that I will no l0nger extend myself. And that was BEFORE I went no contact, so... anyway, my prev T's always told me that sticking around for the parental money was probably hindering me making (keeping) my own, and they were right. so consider that too.