Hopefull,
I apologize for not reading your whole thread, but Bottom line, if an AD has been suggested, go with it, if that one doesn't agree with you, be open for another try at them.
No point of being depressed and/or miserable if you need not be. Relgion or no religion, the supreme being would not want us to be depressed/miserable or hopeless, when his or her creations have researched and made things that can be of help to us to appreciate all the good and even, beautiful things that surround us. Depression has an evil way of keeping us from all the wonder and beauty that is all around us, that so sadly may pass us due to that monster, "depression".
No sin and no sign of weakness to give modern medicine a try.
This is just my personal opinion, based on my own life experience.