Sigh....Well, I have felt that way, but like you I have PTSD. Strange disorder this is don't you think? Oh that pitfall it has where you fall deep into a desire just to end, yes I know it. Those where the hard days and I did walk a dangerous line all day. But I overcame that gradually, but I have never forgotten how that felt and I know if I am not careful it may present itself again.

What kind of car accident caused this, or is that only one aspect of your PTSD. If you are like me, you didn't have a SAFE childhood so besides my trama there is a reminder of other tramas from my past to relive as well. Don't you wish that would not happen, I do. But you know what got me even more, is the lonliness of this disorder. No one around me gets it and that makes it harder to overcome. Then I came here and discovered I am not the only one that feels lonely, I am not the only one with bad thoughts, bad days, very tired, snappy, angry and somedays it is all gone almost like a tease, a reminder of what it was like before PTSD. I would like to know what goes on in the brain to present these repreives.

But then I thought even more and said to myself, well, if this is so lonely, why not keep learning about it, keep digging into myself and see if I can crawl my way out of this dam disorder, cause if I can manage that then maybe I can reach out and help others do the same. And I do spend a lot of time reaching out to others because lets face it no one wants to be lonely.

I saw that special again on 60 minutes about that new program they are doing with the vets, it is called Operation Proper Exit. They take the vets back that got pulled out because they were injured so badly, back to iraq so they can find closure. I think is a great idea because I know what it is like to want to have that somehow. I watched a handsome young man whom I could see the PTSD written all over his face and deep into his eyes. He looked forward to participating in this new operation exit.
It seemed to bring him relief too. Tonite it was a replay so I wonder how he is doing now? Sigh...I hope he is doing better.

I hear you about how you feel, but it helps when you reach out to others. Yeah you can be a nobody if you want or you can choose to be someone else's somebody. A somebody who will listen and validate how others feel because you know it. A somebody who can remind the other person, well, somedays are hard but you might as well hang in there because none of us get out of life alive. So at the very least you can be somebody's somebody who makes it not so lonely.

Everyone can be a somebody you know. You don't have to be some big guy/gal that has lots of things, you can be anyones someone who cares enough to listen. There are lots of people out there that need a somebody to listen.

Open Eyes