I wonder if there is EVER a clear state of mind when you're in therapy.

*sigh*

Is it the reason I'm considering breaking, or is it the impetus of helping me get out of the "therapy trance"?...to get a view through the fog enough to see how I am heading for a train wreck.

I believe it's all playing a factor in it. But the reality is, my well is running dry and leading to being a choice between having a home and having therapy.....No lie.

I have been avoiding facing that reality for quite some time....and just hanging onto the hope that I would become full-time, have company medical benefits and wouldn't have to make the decision to discontinue therapy. And here I am, 2 months away from reaching my cap on my personal purchased medical insurance....and still no full time job in sight, and not even close to getting company medical insurance....and savings dwindling. Because of the therapy trance, because I neeeeeed T, I was staying blind to what is very, very real.

Kinda embarrassing at the moment to know that I was clinging to T for caring, warmth, support to help me through these tough times....one of many people who pay for it day in and day out...Maybe I need to get a life.

*sigh*

So maybe it is the anger talking....LOL

I wish I could say that the latter wasn't a reality though.