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i dont understand why God did this to me. you know how people say god has it all mapped out? where does this map take me where will i end up as an anorexic? will i be bouncing in and out of hospitals fo my whole life will i die of a heart attack do i have refeeding syndrome? people say things happen for a reason. whats the reason to make me suffer. i thought you loved me god. why have you cursed me with somthing i dont understand non the less can i handle. i have given up hope. i cant reach my weigh goal. i know we all have heard: god wont give us somthing we cant handle. but he has i cant handle anorexia. i have never been more lost. we recently put my dog to sleep so i got depressed and stopped eating for a while and my weight started going down. i feel that day by day my weight goal is getting farther and farther away from coming true. is this reality for me? will i always be this way? god please help me i cant do this on my own. and for all of u i have wronged, please forgive me.
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 *stay strong*
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