Hi Hellion -- I am sorry that you are struggling with this. I think I am too old to have the kind of insights the younger people on this thread have for you, from their real-life perspective.

As a teacher, I think it would be a shame for you never to develop a way to contribute to life. SSI will be a good foundation to give you a bit of comfort in your life, but I hope that won't be the end of it. It does not have to be a paying job, but I hope you will find something you like to do, be an art or craft or being the neighborhood good listener or fishing or repairing bicycles for poor kids. Whatever.

In my neighborhood, there is a mental health center that has art classes, for example. I have seen some wonderful paintings on the walls, and some things that are maybe not so wonderful but heartfelt.

So I hope that you will be able to put together the right combination of mental health counseling, income, and something you enjoy doing.

It is a blessing that you have an understanding mother and a good friend, no matter the age difference.