Hello everyone. I am Alison, aged 37 and I live in the UK. I am married to Paul and we have 2 children Sophie aged 10 and Oliver aged 8 (Oliver has autism).

I am so glad I have found this forum as I am just realising that I may have bipolar. Over a year ago my GP said that he thought I had it and referred me to a psychiatrist. We talked for quite a while and she felt that I was not bipolar. She said that I had a very stressful life with my son and it was understandable why I have been on antidepressants for 8 years. I left feeling very confused.

I did a little research into the disorder and I have most of the symptoms except psychosis and suicidal thoughts. I spend money in my 'high' episodes, like water! I just go and spend, don't think of the consequences at all on my family and then I come right down after. I have grand ideas about everything, feel so self-important at times too and my mind races. I feel down at the moment after just spending the last week, off and on, about moving house or knocking down this and that and changing everything around. My poor husband is so very worried about me. This pattern has occured since my son was born, I was hospitalised when he was 6 months old (I didnt know he had autism then, he was diagnosed at age 3). I am devious in that I will just go ahead and do something, anything and not discuss with my husband beforehand. Often he has come home and I have changed something or hired a skip for the driveway and spent £100!! If I do gardening I have to spend all day on working on it, not rest at all. Its all very exhausting and I feel so ill at times.

The medication I take for my depression is Cipralex 20mg per day and 25mg of Dothiepin (anti anxiety). The last few days since I have been depressed I have felt so agitated, feels like my head is stuffed with cotton wool and I feel so tense. I actually tense up my body and go "arghhhhhhh" when on my own to try and get rid of this horrible feeling. Has anyone else experienced this?

My husband is coming with me to see my GP next week and we are booking a longer appointment so we can talk about how I have been feeling. I am sure that my medication is not right for me and is not helping me at all.

So I just thought I would share with you what has been happening and how my husband and I have reached the conclusion that, yes, I may well have bipolar.

best wishes



Ali