(TW just in case)

About two years ago I felt that my last my last "almost boyfriend", who was also my best friend, had been using me and that's why I decided to permanently say no to his idea of "staying friends". Even though I felt that I was in love with him and he knew that and he supposedly felt the same, I promised myself I'd go for the no-contact-rule, as they call it, no matter what he said. Obviously, he tried to dissuade me from it but I didn't change my mind. I e-mailed him saying I wouldn't keep in touch anymore and I asked him the same. I just didn't feel like staying friends with him. After all, I had been avoiding him ever since he suddenly "dumped" me 5 years ago (he e-mailed me saying he couldn't do it and something along the lines of "I never felt anything but friendship for you and I think I don't know you that much but we should be friends", which didn't make sense to me) but he didn't understand.

We've got a few mutual acquaintances and it turns out the other day one of them told me he had asked her to say happy birthday on his behalf. That's the last thing I need. Of course it's not her fault because she doesn't even know that I had a thing going on with the guy. I don't miss him and I'm better off without him and it's not as if I wished something bad upon him, but the problem is this is not the first time he tries to break the no contact rule although he is perfectly aware that I don't want to hear about him ever again and for some reason it really gets to me. I'm thinking it's because I haven't gotten over the resentment.

I'm really sad and angry right now. It's been a few days and I thought I would be able to shrug it off, but I can't. The whole birthday thing is really complicated for me per se. I know birthdays are important, but I never make a really big deal out of my birthday. I'm ok if people simply call or e-mail wishing me a happy birthday. I don't need anything else. Plus, as a shy person, I hate parties, and I'm not a fan of receiving presents either, but nobody in my family understands and they do a little get together every year even though they know I never feel like it, and I always end up pretending I feel great because I don't want to hurt their feelings. I was already having a hard time and he made it worse.

Thanks for reading.