I keep thinking about this, wondering how it might have changed things if I had been allowed to say that I have asperger's earlier. Like, when I was rejected from that master's program, would they have been more open to working with me if it were recognized that I have this, rather than thinking that I was just odd and lacking in social skills. Maybe it would have felt less blaming at least. And all of the times that I have been told to stop acting a particular way or to stop making excuses or stop looking for symptoms, etc. because "there's nothing wrong with you." The therapist that I went to for several years, who wouldn't even let me talk about sensory processing issues or anything related to autistic spectrum disorders dismissed it and would say various things like that those were childhood disorders and not relevant or that I couldn't have that for various reasons. I wonder if she thinks you can "cure" asperger's by denying that it exists. I want to ask her if she thinks you can cure PTSD or DID by denying that it exists, because I know she knows how hurtful it is to dismiss those disorders that way to someone who has them.

There were so many times that I was struggling and I needed validation and support and got rejection instead. It was so easy for my most recent T to just go through the screening questions and say that it sounded like this is something I have. Why couldn't someone have just done that before?

As professionals, we are so cautious about diagnosing autistic spectrum disorders. With children, we refer to a specialist for further testing. With adults, we might say that the person seems "aspergery" but we don't want to be the first to diagnose it, and usually testing isn't done. I remember a recent conversation with colleagues at work about a patient they were all pretty sure had asperger's but he was a young adult and they didn't think he had been diagnosed with that before, and they were asking who could diagnose that. I said that any of us could, as we were all licensed clinicians - LPCs and one APRN. I hadn't worked with that patient, but I asked them if they wanted me to talk to him and make that diagnosis. They were still hesitant, and too scared to put it down without formal testing. In our setting we rarely do any formal testing for any other mental health diagnoses, but we do focus on what is acute since it is very short-term treatment there. I don't think that being so overcautious is helping people. I don't think it has helped me at all that nobody would consider that I had asperger's. And now I'm still questioning it because it was too easy, and nobody ever let it be that simple before.