I think my mom hates me but I also think it's because of her anger issues. I am not sure if she has anger issues or not, but she always denies it. The last time she said she loves me is years ago, I understand my mom has stress because of laziness and terrible school grades, and also because she doesn't love my dad, she actually hates him, but they still live together. I always hear them fighting, and also because my brother has Autism. She always says she loves him, but it's only because of his Autism. I cry because of emotional pain more than I do for physical pain, and I feel very isolated that I can't talk to anybody about this. Well, my brother is 10 and I am 12. (Yes I know that violates the rules, but I really need somebody to talk to) I am a girl by the way. I've heard plenty of times when my mom says she wishes she never had kids, and I can honestly I am truly a loser. I barely have any friends and they're moving soon, and I can say that hurts me emotionally too. My mom would get angry about everything, and she says cuss words, she even calls my cuss words, and isn't afraid to break furniture or glass. All of our cups and plates are all broken because of her, she even broke a chair. My dad is very conceited and selfish. My mom knows he cheats on her for multiple women, and does drugs, and drinks alcoholic beverages. My mom also does too, but all she does is complain. Sometimes my mom would have breakdown and break everything, and she could say so many cuss words I couldn't even count, and she'd go absolutely bizarre. It'd even go up to the point where we could call 911. My dad went to jail twice, (temporary jail for a few says) for hurting my mother, and I even witnessed her hurting my mom, and I almost called the police. I've been thinking about getting on drugs when I'm older, but I really don't want to, and I don't even regret killing myself if I had to, I might even encourage it the way my life is now. I think as a child witnessing these scenes might affect my adulthood too. I feel the only thing important to me is my laptop because that's where I can have friends, but my mom threatens me to kill me, give me away etc. I really need help, and I want to go to a counselor, but what if my mom figures out? Please someone, help me. I am on the verge of committing suicide.