Forgot to answer your other question, Hillbunnyb *smile

I've gotten therapy much of the time over the years, so has my husband.

We're both in our 3rd marriage, 2 ex's each... and with all of that.... we've both gone to more therapy than anyone...

as for our particular marriage... we've gone to therapy individually... every time I asked him to go to marriage counseling, he said no.

As for me... yes, I have had therapy about this issue.... follow the advice in the BPD workbooks for SO's.

Maybe I should check them again to see if I missed the chapter on what to do if your BPD spouse keeps ejecting you from their life, then begging you to come back.

I thought about us getting a duplex. And when he kicks me out I can just walk next door, maybe if we can ever get our finances back under control, we'll look into that.
*smile

Respectfully ~ phoenix