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eskielover · May 29, 2012, 05:07 AM

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Originally Posted by aalazhe

i dont understand why God did this to me. you know how people say god has it all mapped out?

First off, God didn't do this to you.....God has given all humans free will, the ability to make good & bad choices with our lives & how we choose to eat & how we choose to see our body is OUR CHOICE....Anorexia is a bad choice, not something that God makes us do...know you are young & probably haven't learned all of this yet in your life. Some people have bad abuse in their life or have been raped, or have gone through abortions or trauma's of some sort that gives a person reasons where they feel the need for control or they hate the looks of their body because of it. Girls that are into gymnastics or sports there they have excessive exercise can tend to get into the eating habits that keep the weight low......there are all kinds of reasons including being in a family with a mother who is overly concerned with her weight.....but the bottom line is that it's our own choice to get into the anorexic behavior......God has nothing to do with our choice to get into it....but our body is the temple of God & God tells us to take care of our body.....so it's our responsibility to take that responsibility seriously.

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where does this map take me where will i end up as an anorexic? will i be bouncing in and out of hospitals fo my whole life will i die of a heart attack do i have refeeding syndrome?

What do you want your life to look like? At your age, you have your life ahead of you to make it what you want. You are not stuck with being anorexic & being in & out of hospitals unless that's the life you want.....you have to want to change first off. I know that even at my older age, when I was struggling with anorexia....I was struggling with a lot of other bad things going on in my life.....& to be honest, the times I was in the hospital.....I needed the attention that I was getting there & I needed the psych hospital care I got after getting out of the medical hospital & the outpatient treatment along with the private treatment.....because there were so many issues that were involved with the anorexia besides the desire to loose the weight. When things that happened that would normally make anyone loose their appetite (like the death of your puppy dog) would cause me to stop eating normally, but when my weight was already so low, I didn't have any extra weight to loose because I was already at a critical place.....so it triggered even more weight loss which was even harder to stop once it started loosing again. But the bottom line was that I was the only one who could control & force myself to eat enough to get through it even though I didn't feel like it & really didn't even want to.......there was also a part of me at that time that didn't want to live.......all things you have to be honest about to yourself & hopefully you have a good therapist who is working with you in dealing with the issues that are causing you to be struggling with this so bad.

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people say things happen for a reason. whats the reason to make me suffer. i thought you loved me god.

You don't always see the reasons at the time it's happening to you.....the reason usually comes later in life....when you run into other people who are struggling with the same thing you have struggled with & you can relate to them & help them get through their struggle by sharing your struggle with them & what you were able to do to recover. I have found out that it's the things I have suffered with that are the things that have been used to help others....not the good times of my life. You are young & you haven't had the years yet to experience this......but God knows what your future holds. I never thought that the loss of my engineering career could ever be of any good for anything as it took me into major depression, suicide attempts, anorexia, & many other horrible things that I lived through while trying to deal with it & not wanting to.....but I have been able to talk to others who have struggled with similar issues & have been able to talk with them & help them through some of their issues......those are the things that God uses our life for & our life experiences to help others.

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why have you cursed me with somthing i dont understand non the less can i handle. i have given up hope. i cant reach my weigh goal. i know we all have heard: god wont give us somthing we cant handle. but he has i cant handle anorexia.

Remember, this is not something God gave you.....it's unfortunately a choice that we make & only we can make the choice to stop the behavior & change. God gives us good nutritionist & a good therapist & hopefully supportive parents who help us work through the issues that are causing us to have the behavior in the first place.....but it's up to us to break the behavior....no one can do it for us......they can possibly help us find our incentive to stop....but no one can make us stop other than our own selves.

It doesn't happen over night...it took me several years both times to get to a safe weight....it takes time, but you can handle it....it's not something that massive or that great that can't be stopped & it's easier to have the help & stop at your age than if you were to ignore it & keep the behavior going all your life where the behavior becomes even more of a habit

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i have never been more lost. we recently put my dog to sleep so i got depressed and stopped eating for a while and my weight started going down. i feel that day by day my weight goal is getting farther and farther away from coming true.

Like I said before, your reaction to the loss of your dog is normal for any person.....but a normal person doesn't have the already low weight where the not eating becomes even more of a problem. When bad things like this happen & we are already at a bad place, we just need to force ourselves to eat an oatmeal cookie, or a 1/2 grilled cheese. Something mild that won't upset our stomach....is all we can do....& there comes a time when we have to force ourselves to do what we know is right & healthy when extra bad things hit us when we are already down.....& I'm sure your parents are helpful in providing you with the small amounts of food that you need to have several times a day.

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is this reality for me? will i always be this way? god please help me i cant do this on my own.

The choice is yours....it doesn't have to be your reality.....& it doesn't have to always be this way.....but that choice is yours. No one says that you have to do it all on your own....God gives us good therapists, nutritionists, psychiatrists if they find medication might help you ......but all they can do is give you the motivation......they can't give you the desire or the will to want to stop the anorexia.....that has to come from within you & you can do this if you truly want to & in doing it, you can be an inspiration for others in the long run to show others that it can be done.

I know you can do this....just because it isn't happening immediately for something that takes much time to be successful.....don't get discouraged....this is a good thing to also learn your patience on