This post has brought me to tears.

I understand this. I'm going through the very same situation, I'd say.

We separated 4 years ago. It's been 3 years of therapy trying to understand and deal with things, it's been 2 years on this legal hell and that is the one thing I beg out of this: justice.

I wander between hate, regret, misery, depression, PTSD and all the horrible things that came along with it. Nothing really makes much sense but it doesn't matter. What I keep thinking to myself at times is that he almost killed me, he will kill someone eventually and I wasn't strong enough even to defend myself, let alone stop it from hurting others.

I should have sent him back to jail back then, police officers would tell me all I had to do was present charges and the DA office would pick it up from there. But I was so scared for my life, I ran as far and as fast as I could and I wasn't thinking at all.

Instead of pressing charges I did a full research around our area of who would take his case (He was diagnose as a Narcissist Personality Disorder borderline sociopath). And as always this is some sort of a joke due to the fact that he will never change, he is the same piece of human waste he can be and it wont ever get better. It will just get worse.

I do not feel I've got wisdom, courage, peace or love. Let alone strenght. No matter how much I'd pray. No matter how much I'd fight and try so far. It's complicated. It's very hurtful.

I don't know now what difference would it make that he would feel any remorse, given it won't change anything. Being objective, he just couldn't because he's a sociopath. I guess I tried to make sense out of something that doesn't have a meaning. It just is.

And I keep hoping life would turn around. I do not think is fair while my situation is as horrid as it could be, he is blissfully happy out there ruining lifes. And possibly on the edge of hurting someone just as we speak.

I have paid over $20k in legal fees, do not get me started on the medical fees. And he just gets to walk free as if he never did a damn thing wrong in his life.

There's gotta be a balance here, maybe it takes time but what goes around comes around. I gotta believe. There must be justice one way or another.

I remember this famous quote that says "Justice is truth in action". Truth should prevail, no matter how late it must come.