(((Thanks Cotton ball))),

Wow, I am so completely exhausted today. I have an appointment with my T today, but to be honest, I don't even think I have the energy to drive the 40 minute drive to get to him, and even if I do, and talk?, how will I make it home?

And I also am worried about my daughter because I know the stages of what comes after a drunken stooper. And I need to be there for my child and I am wondering if I can. And I don't know what is going to happen next. And this weekend coming up I have a big job for a very wealthy client that is booking out my whole weekend. I can't be in pieces and I need the money so badly. My daughter needs her mother, not the woman that is so crippled by this dam PTSD that she doesn't understand.

I have been working so hard on my recovery this past year, and to have this bomb go off? Oh, why could I just have time to repair gently with my daughter? I feel like I am trying to run and help my daughter whom I love more than life itself and I have this ball and chain (that no one can really see) that I am dragging as I am trying to reach her to help her.

Open Eyes