First I'd like to say how very hard this must be for you. To have an idea -- a value-- and then have it taken away before you.... it's hard to swallow.

Like wondering how he could stand up there and vow to be your loving partner forever... then this..... it hurts I'm sure. Maybe it would help to really grasp the notion that "humans aren't perfect"-- we all make mistakes, some make bigger ones than others... but we all goof sometime.

If like you say, you are talking about things everyday... about what happened and how his past has played a role in all this.... then, it sounds like you are both willing to go foward, which is good for the relationship. I think talking about things as much as you need to is beneficial.

You said his behavior caused him to run away..... Not blaming just you here-- but there is always two sides to ANY relationship. Maybe he wasn't good at voicing what he needed from you, didn't get what he needed then, and so went to look elsewhere?.... Perhaps couples therapy will help both of you to communicate with each other better. And time-- it takes time to make a new relationship with a partner. </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I don't know if I'll ever be the same woman I was.

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No you probably won't be-- you'll hopefully be wiser, have a wider understanding of your partner and live a fuller life because of all you've learned. Not meaning to discount the pain you presently feel now....... just sometimes life makes us change and grow in not so comfortable ways.

I wish you much healing.