It sounds as if the initial reason your daughter could not go to the carnival was because you had no cash to giver her at the time (i.e., you had no other objection to her going) and the other ATM machine was sleeping. Even though you told her not to bother her mother because she was asleep, she did so anyway and got some cash to go out. Perhaps, she noticed her mother's light on at some point and knew she was not sleeping. She defnitely was wrong to disregard your request that she not bother her mother, but I'm kind of concerned about how much this "embarrassed, humiliated, and angered" you. I would be annoyed, maybe, but would have spoken with my daughter about it later in private (not in front of the boyfriend).

The bottom line is that her mother was awake (or was asleep and did not mind being woken up) and had cash to give her so that she could go out and have a good time. Prior to her waking her mother, you had no objection to her going to the carnival. Is your daughter otherwise well-behaved? If so, then I'd just chalk this up to her thinking for herself. Parents aren't always right, it's a shame but true. Let's just say that you ask your daughter to get a part-time job after school to help chip in with clothes or other stuff that she might like to buy for herself. Let's just say that every job listing says "Please submit applications online only." If she cannot find a job online, would you be mad at her if she walked into a business and personally delivered her resume? Sometimes thinking for yourself is a good thing.

God knows where I'd be today if I listened to everyone in a position of authority who ever told me "no."