Alibongo, Hi there! I'm new here as well but not so new to having the illness bipolar. I can understand where you're at and where you're going. I'm afraid hon that its a path that you have to travel but good can come from it.
I like you am new here but not new to bipolar. I am 37 now but I was dignossed when I was 24. Its been a long hard road but one im sure you will get through.
Bipolar illness is part of our personallities but it doesn't define who we are.
You have to look within and find the strenth you have to fight back at your illness but never forget it is part of who you are and in turn effects most of your life.
Don't let it scare you! You are bigger and stronger then it is. Keep working with your doctor and your meds. You will fine a med. that works for you. It may take time! A lot of time for some people. I haven't found a med. that worked somewhat for me for years. Its a battle, but one that can be won.
Heads up to your husband because if he truely loves you its a life time comitment for him. Stand strong and you will learn through books and reading about your illness the things that must be done. If you need extra help with this , do contact me through my E-Mail hon.

I'm cocoa and I'm here to help

good luck :-))