You were very brave to get out there and risk meeting people. It can be hard to keep from doing something impulsive about an upsetting work situation. I've done that and it can be costly, as it was for me. You seem to reflect a lot on how you handle things, and you strive to be fair. Those are good qualities. I hope you will get back to how you've felt when you were in a better space. It's hard to lose that - I know. ((((HUGS))))