-A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative. (I love this one and I'm a pessimist)

-Freudian slip. When you say one thing and mean your mother.

-Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

-When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

-Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

-A breakfast boiled egg is hard to beat.

-His photographic memory was never developed.

-When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

-Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

-Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

-Without geometry, life is pointless.

-Dreaming in color is a pigment of your imagination.

-A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.

-A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

-Dijon vu. The same mustard as before.

-Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

-When egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

-A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.

-A backwards poet writes inverse.