Mainly, I just want to offer some empathy. I have felt perpetually "out of sync" with therapists. I've always basically just followed their lead. At least, I would think that was what I was doing. Then I would get told after many meetings that I wasn't actually "working" on my issues.

What I asked of my latest therapists is that there be some continuity between sessions. So - like - we decide I have a goal to get these 3 things done between now and the next session. Then, when we meet, we talk about me getting those goals met. I asked my T. to play the role of holding me accountable.

But that fell apart. He wouldn't even refer to the notes of the last time we met. If I lost my notes, then I couldn't remember where we were. It seems to me that each T wants to have each session be a brand new thing, instead of a continuation of a goal oriented process. We basically just look at each other and do - like - shooting the breeze. It has no structure.

I feel like I must not be making any sense to anyone - like - I have these concepts that are peculiar to me.

I can find fault with any theory or "school" of thought regarding therapeutic work. So I am always envisioning something that I synthesized that becomes MY school of thought. It is always somewhat in conflict with the therapists frame of reference.