I gave mine a chance, we did the counselling but seperately, when we tried together, it wasn't good, but therapist would periodically have us both show up together.
Long story short, we made it. We are married for 28yrs. plus gone steady 7yrs before getting married, there is too much good history to throw away. Funny thing our marriage became stronger after his mid life fling . . . he grew up, and I grew wiser. It's really hard getting past this and regaining trust, but some how it becomes possible for some. My son is so happy we worked through the mess, now we are 2 middle aged people,growing old, and "out together" (weight gain). I look back 6 yrs ago and where I was mentally after finding out, and just wanted to die, a whole long story, but I am glad I stayed, and he is happy I didn't leave him, and though he never says it,I know he is, and I believe he means that he loves only me and wants to plan on retirement together. But if this all was to be ruined due to another betrayal, I told him that would be it,I can emotionally survive it now, cause I have more self-worth, I've learned there is no man on earth worth being suicidal over, and signing oneself into a psych ward. Never again, for I am my own person now, I can survive, even my pdocs and T's admired me for how I have survived that and several life's tragedies. Takes lots of work and effort, though.
I wish you luck with this.
BTW
A post very similar to yours, was my first time here, a few years ago, got lots of support and good advice, sooooooooooo I stuck around, and I am here often.