thanks elfgirl
finally got to speak with SW today. Turns out she has really stepped over the line this time- she did not want me to attend the hospital appt. As it is i am having a hard enough time trying to stay "Chloe's Mum" with her being in care, but when I am PURPOSELY not told about her hospital appts?!?! SW decided that as long as 1 guardian (her dad) was there that was enough. She "didn't want a repeat of the last hospital appt". It wasn't that bad as it was, and it has NOTHING to do with me going to the appt. My nurse arrived while I was on the phone so was able to calm me down a bit (lol) and as she pointed out, Tuesday has been and gone, I need to move on with the other stuff. Let the lawyer deal with it. I am leaving it to the lawyer, but the pain is so intense about being denied my role as mother and being left 'out of the loop' is just too much at the mo. Every time I even begin to think about it I end up a sobbing mess...
Oh well, another vent! At least there was a positive that came out of the ph call with the SW- I have 'graduated' to unsupervised access with both girls. The worker who was supervising them has confirmed that I can deal with both girls even when Chloe has one of her temper tantrums (which she had on Tuesday's access!). As my nurse said, *focus on the positives*. Easier said than done tho!!!
oh- and she gave me some great affirmations and a poem which I will share with you guys some time... when I can be bothered copying them, and after I have actually read them myself ...