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Originally Posted by Hellion
Yeah its the when people can't stand to hear it anymore I am afraid of, but then if I go around pretending everything is alright...that makes me feel lonely to. I have to admit though sometimes I do avoid people just to keep from ruining their day with my gloom. hmm it will be interesting to see if I have this effect on therapists as well.
I guess I am not sure why exactly, but I just cant shake the feeling that I am indeed totally worthless and mostly only make peoples lives harder.
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Hellion i understand you completely. I am very negative and i guess thats part of my depression plus my mother was negative and i just took after her i guess. But i realized that people seemed put off by my attitude as well. They wanted to be positive and help and offer suggestions and i would not be receptive to them and they would get annoyed and stop calling. I stopped reaching out to people because i didn't want to bring anyone down and i told people thats the reason they are not hearing from me. I felt like i had to put a fake smile on and act like everything was fine and i felt hurt that i couldnt tell the people i felt close to what i was really feeling for fear of turning them off. I don't have answers for you but i wanted to tell you i get it and to come to sites like this where people may be better able to understand you and sympathize. I stopped telling people anything because they made me feel worse. Hang in there.